I was diagnosed with BDD by Dr Veale about 5 years ago after admitting to my Doctor that my depression was solely due to how I look and not to do with any other deep and emotional reason. She referred me to Dr Veale; however, since then I haven't really followed any structured programme to manage BDD. I haven't even mentioned the word BDD to the Doctor since that time. I am going to go back next week and explain that it's flared up really badly and I am going to insist on a course of CBT and any other support that I can get.

I think it has become really bad recently because now I have a son, I feel its harder to disguise this problem anymore, I am due to go back to work but I just totally freaked out about getting up in the morning, doing my routines and getting my son ready for child care before getting to work, I just thought to myself that I can't do this!! But I need to go back to work because being at home actually makes the problem worse. I just feel like a hopeless failure and have totally panicked. Before, I have only had to worry about myself. I thought having a baby may improve the symptoms as it would mean I had something else to focus on but unfortunately, it's just not that easy.

My partner is just mystified by the whole thing!!! he thinks I look great (common problem with BDD), I am starting to really upset him because he feels that I am demeaning him in a way when I am say to him he must be happy with an ugly woman.