I often wonder who really is more bonkers, myself or the world?
I was sat in the car driving along and my mind kept moving from one thought to another.
'God I'm looking old, my skin is horrible, ' 'Why can't I just look pretty like so and so,' 'I seriously need a gym, my body is a mess.'
Even in confinement the radio is advertising a quick fix surgery for my insecurities.
I glance out from the window and my eyes take in the heavenly flawless beauty advertising the latest must have beauty product.
I'm aware inside the model has been picked for having the right look to sell a product.
I'm aware of the professional team around her doing makeup, hair, lighting, the hundreds of shots taken and then the most flattering chosen.
I'm aware the photo has been uploaded and digitally enhanced and air brushed. Imperfections eradicated and face and body tweaked.
But despite understanding this, the advert has the desired affect that the advertisers want.
I feel ugly in comparison for not measuring up and believe if only I looked perfect my life would fall into place and happiness would be all around me. Sucker!
Society has been so brainwashed by the media that I'm hardly surprised that the majority of us grow up feeling insecure and unhappy with who we are.
Constant adverts bombard us with beauty ideals which even the models appearing in these fantasy ads have no chance of reaching.
Why? Because it's not real, none of it.
We need to stop pawing over the glossy pictures in the magazines and everywhere else and accept this isn't the norm, but you know what? You and I are.
That pimple, cellulite, wrinkles, let's stop thinking of them as flaws just because the beauty industry wants us to feel that way so we buy into their products.
Let's start realizing that it's normal what we see in the mirror and part of being a human, just like our body shapes and features however they look are, were all just unique individuals.
Ok, I'd be lying if it was that easy to do as you can't expect to erase years of brainwashing overnight.
It's good to be aware of your critical thoughts and your negative moods as they are flagging up serious problems within you.
But at times you need to sit down somewhere on your own and meditate on the question of why it's not Ok to be you.
Because people won't like you? You will be ridiculed? Because you put all yourself worth on your appearance and are realizing how fruitless and destructive this is?
You and I are way more than body. In fact our body is just something we use to get about in on this planet.
I suppose it's like a car, if you look after it or treat it well then it will perform well and last a long time.
Drive around erratically and abuse, neglect it, well what do you expect to happen?
We think that an MOT nowadays with our bodies means hurling ourselves through the door of the thousands of plastic surgery clinics and getting either pumped full of chemicals or sliced up.
We pay too much attention on the body work, we get a scratch or dent and it's the end of the world, enough to ruin our day, our year, and our life.
I can't help but wish that people would try to look inside more and focus on the engine, our heart, what really matters.
Perhaps it's time to be our own person and not follow the crowd.